Norwegian friends

I moved to Oslo in January 2021. Before that, I had spent almost a year learning Norwegian at home in Poland. This period of self-study was filled with listening, reading and watching. I did not practice my speaking skills. However, after moving to Norway, I was able to have conversations with my Norwegian friends. It was a bit awkward, but we got along well when the topics were not too complicated. I was competent enough to use Norwegian in my daily life. As I practiced, the Norwegian-speaking part of my existence gradually grew. In about 7 months, it reached the point where Norwegian replaced English as my main language of daily communication. I progressed quickly because I had natural conversations with my friends every day.

Living with Norwegians

Living in Norway can incredibly speed up your language acquisition process, but it does not happen automatically. The problem with Norwegians is that they speak English very well. Worse, they are generally polite and want to make your life easier, even if you want to make it harder. If they hear that you are not fluent in their language, they will switch to English. You must actively encourage Norwegians to speak Norwegian with you. Your friends may help you learn their language if you openly ask for help.

I am privileged to have good friends who know my learning goals and support me in this process. Since I moved to Oslo, I have been surrounded by friendly Norwegians. I live with two of them - Ole Bendik and Sebastian. In the beginning we mainly spoke English, which served as our main language of communication. But from the beginning I tried to speak as much Norwegian as possible. I usually started conversations in Norwegian and switched to English when I got stuck. Gradually, I spoke more and more Norwegian. Daily conversations with my roommates served as a natural training ground for my speaking skills. I also had other friends who helped me learn Norwegian.

Breaking the ice

Trying to communicate in a new language in the context of real life is quite uncomfortable and stressful. Learning necessarily involves some negative emotions. The presence of Norwegian speaking people is necessary but not sufficient to create a good learning environment. It also requires a supportive and warm interpersonal climate. It can be difficult to find such an environment. In Norway, many immigrants complain about the cold social atmosphere. According to the Expats Insider 2022 survey, more than a third of respondents described the local population in Norway as generally unfriendly, and more than half admitted that they had difficulty making local friends.

My impression is that people in Norway generally tolerate you, but not necessarily accept you. Acceptance means receiving the other person as he or she is. It includes care and curiosity about that person. You cannot accept the other person while keeping him or her at a distance. Unfortunately, being met with indifferent tolerance instead of genuine acceptance is a common experience in Norway. Fortunately, not all Norwegians are cold and distant.

The way I was received by the locals was very different from the stories of cold reception told by many immigrants living in Norway. I am so grateful to Ole Bendik, Sebastian, Camilo, Monika, Kjetil, Trond, Myra, Tøger, Fiona, Paul and others who have welcomed me so warmly! Living in Norway feels like home because of their genuine care and warmth. These friends have helped me a lot in learning Norwegian. Without them, I probably would not have learned so much in such a short time. Now I do not need to organize any learning activities to practice speaking Norwegian. The Norwegian language just comes to me. I have never needed an individual tutor for conversation training because I have friends.

Local friends have given me many opportunities to practice Norwegian in conversation with them, but not only that. Their warm and accepting interpersonal approach strengthens my sense of security in speaking the language, which is still new to me. They also appreciate my progress and sometimes give helpful feedback. All of this happens not in a language class, but in daily interactions with people who care about me. My friends' homes are my language classrooms.

Heaven here

A common characteristic of almost all of my Norwegian friends is that they are devout Christians who take their faith seriously. I cannot help but associate this fact with the very open and supportive approach I have experienced in contact with them. Biblical Christianity provides much more than a common religious identity. It creates a special interpersonal atmosphere characterized by genuine care for one another. The gospel-centered community should provide a supportive learning environment, which I found among my friends.

In order to progress in language learning, you must accept yourself at your current level of language competence, keep hope for becoming a competent language user, and believe that you can do it. I find the answer to all these needs in the evangelical idea of salvation, which claims that God has accepted us despite our shortcomings and empowered us to become the best versions of ourselves. The story of Jesus' resurrection promises a new life free from guilt and shame. The kingdom of heaven, an ideal version of reality, is coming to the material world. Humanity is on its way from brokenness to eternal glory. We cannot change and become a better version of ourselves unless we thoroughly accept what we are now. It is a necessary condition for moving away from what we are. God's unconditional love, regardless of our performance, drives this transformation process.

What does this have to do with language learning? On an individual level, the biblical perspective on learning frees us from the anxious urge to show that we are good enough. It provides a strong core of identity that empowers us to freely learn a new language, not to prove our worth, but to connect with other people. On a social level, it creates a community where you are accepted for who you are, while being supported to become a better version of yourself. It is an optimal social environment for learning because it provides a sense of security you need to feel free to speak less than perfect Norwegian, and it challenges you to learn further. This is how I understand the biblical message and how I have experienced fellowship with my friends in Norway. I know that many Christian groups are characterized by closeness or indifference rather than genuine care, but I have been fortunate to meet really good people. Being with them, I experience heaven on earth while learning the Norwegian language.